The picture of a sunny day.

I always put so much pressure on myself the night before a haircut.  

I’ve been wanting to go really short for a while, but the stubbornly fatphobic part of my brain is like “If your hair is above your chin your FACE WILL LOOK FAT.”  But then the reasonable part of my brain is like “So, a, the adipose tissue in your face is what makes your face look fat, and b, it’s okay to have a fat face.”

It’s hard as fuck to find photos of fat feminine folk with short hairstyles.  It’s also hard to find photos where the fat subject isn’t angled to make their face look slimmer, or just tends to have a slimmer face to begin with.  (Not saying I’m not guilty of this.)  

I get very irked with myself when I let my insecurity dictate my decisions.

disabledtalk:

(Image text: Disability Problem #128: When “people of all shapes and sizes” never includes people with disabilities)

(via )

thenthwave:

Nico Lang at Huff-Po applauds Jada Pinkett Smith & Will Smith for publicly defending their decision to “let” their daughter Willow to do whatever-the-eff-she-wants with her own hair (because it’s her own body).

Cool mom Jada Pinkett Smith recently released the following statement, in response to critics who question why she would “let” her daughter make her own hairstyle choices:

The question why I would let Willow cut her hair. First, the let must be challenged. This is a world where women, girls are constantly reminded that they don’t belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are her domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It’s also a statement that claims that even little girls have the right to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother’s deepest insecurities, hopes and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be.  

In his post, Nico Lang brings up the Parade Magazine interview (back in May) when cool dad Will Smith said:

We let Willow cut her hair. When you have a little girl, it’s like how can you teach her that you’re in control of her body? If I teach her that I’m in charge of whether or not she can touch her hair, she’s going to replace me with some other man when she goes out in the world.

This family gets it. 

 

redefiningbodyimage:

Here’s a shoutout to anyone who hates their body and wishes they looked different: LEARN about the power of media. The above ad is from the 1950s. Advertising thrives on making you feel insecure. Over the decades, thanks to feminism, ad designers were forced to become (less patronising, misogynistic and outright sexist in their content and) more subtle, but otherwise nothing has changed - the media still throws images at us which make us feel insecure or deepen our insecurities. Why? Because ultimately, they’re trying to sell us things. Back then it was exercises and diets that will increase your bust or help you put a few pounds on, now it’s plastic surgery and diets which will help you shed those pounds.

The good news is, you can fight it - knowledge is power - so educate yourself. Think about the ‘perfect’ model back when you were young, and how has she changed. Learn of the power of Photoshop. Look at quality retouching: before and after. These women that media wants us to emulate are hardly real anymore. Things are turning around, but slowly, so in the meantime, learn.

I hope this gives some a little bit of perspective. Don’t fall prey to the media, you’re too smart for that, and way too beautiful all on your own.

——

[mod note or whatever: fucking THIS. cosigned. always. - haley <3]

feministfitspo:

“We could talk about how hard the life of an Olympic swimmer is, and what an enormous level of commitment it takes to qualify for the Olympics a record four times. Instead, we’re talking about her weight, thanks to Melbourne’s Herald Sun, which decided to publish “then and now” photos suggesting that Jones has gained weight…

“What’s happening to Leisel Jones right now is an important reminder that no matter how accomplished a woman is, no matter how talented, how skilled, how strong, how tenacious, how gutsy, she is not exempt from the rules of modern femininity. Not even during the Olympic Games. She has to be skinny and beautiful before she can be recognized for being any of those other things, and if she isn’t skinny and beautiful, we’ll ignore her guts and tenacity and talent and dedication and waste our time debating whether or not she’s gained weight during the twelve years she’s been in the public eye.”

-Feministing

(via feministfitness)

tangledupinlace:

unapologeticfatty:

Jessica is my fatspiration. 

I wore this bikini to the lake today.

Majestic has been working and going to school full time so we don’t get as much QT as we used to and when we’re spread thin (ha), we regenerate in nature.

The thing is, Mercury’s in Retrograde, I’m shedding my uterine lining and my idea of “going into nature” doesn’t ever involve (or rather, I’d prefer if it didn’t) thin white insecure teenaged girls. 

But today it did. 

Normally, I’d do what I do best. Sitting in unflattering positions, eating passionately and aggressively and deflecting everyone’s poor self image are my strong suits.(right next to fucking, tying a pretty bow and swearing) I like to incite and I love to be seen in my fat bawdy. It reminds me I’m alive….surviving and thriving.

but like I said before, Mercury’s in Retrograde, I haven’t gotten intentional time with my Lover and I’m on my motherfucking period.

Today was not the goddamn day. 

Watching a couple different flocks of thin teenage girls whisper to each other and then stare at two magical creatures such as myself and my beautiful wife with a look like they’d smelled a ripe fart filled me with a fiery rage.

Fat people can’t just fucking go to the lake and move their bodies in public without repercussions. The majority of thin people CAN. 

Now, because this is not my first rodeo and I do not want anyone to get it twisted, I want everyone to read my words carefully and I really want thin folks to GET REAL with themselves right now.

I know the thin folks who read my blog make some serious attempts at becoming more body positive and I know you all try to think more critically about the ways in which you participate in a culture that is out to kill me. I know a lot of thin folks in my real life care about me, love me and even find my devilishly good looks to be quite captivating.

So when I talk about my feelings and real experiences, I do not want to hear about how you’re not the bad guy and how you don’t appreciate my anger. I don’t care

Today I took the countless stares, whispers and upset faces personally. Instead of challenging them, I started to shake with unadulterated rage and huffed off. I moved our blanket and snacks to a secluded inlet of the lake and sulked. 

When Majestic and I started to process my feelings, I told them the reason I feel unsafe around thin folks at the beach was about me 1. seeing their fucking faces when they look at me and 2. remembering what it was like to hate my body and the gross awful things I thought about people then. Worse, the things I was encouraged by my peers to say and think about people and the way we bonded over mean and hurtful feelings like it would keep us satisfied until we allowed ourselves a small portioned diet meal.

I told Majestic that thin people are thinking a few different things about my body and I don’t like any of them. Are they disgusted beyond belief? Are they sad for me and my pitiful fat existence? Are they just staring because my body has become so abject and such a spectacle that they’re just interested in knowing what it looks like that unclothed? Are they scared about what my body makes them think about their bodies? 

Majestic said, “They’re uncomfortable. They want you to be invisible, but you refuse. It would be easier for them if you hid, but you won’t and that’s upsetting.”

So maybe some of them are thinking about how ~*brave*~ I must be and that’s supposed to quell my upset over all the other thoughts they could be thinking. 

As if them thinking its brave to have such a revolting body and still put on bathing suit and enjoy a swim just like them is a comforting thought.

But it is brave to know your body is scary and that people want to destroy it, but that it’s yours and you love it and you made the radical decision not to deny yourself a dip in a lake on a hot day or an ice cream cone or a lover who respects you. 

Because I know it’s hard to be a teenage girl and if I thought they’d listen, I’d sit down with every last one of them and tell them I remember what it was like to be them and that I know what it’s like to carry that venom inside you. 

Because as much as I want to tell the world how they hurt themselves by hating me, I really just want to fucking float around in the cool water like everyone else but you don’t want that for me

And tomorrow’s just another day for me to be fat in your face and if that’s hard for you, TOO FUCKING BAD

lacigreen:

hahahahahaajahahahaha

hahahahahahaa

victoria’s secret is pulling a “love your body” marketing campaign

isn’t that just frickin cute?

victoria’s secret

the underwear company that is famous for irresponsibly reinforcing unrealistic and harmful expectations of people’s bodies.  the same company that only stocks clothing, bras, and underwear so long as you fall within their range of *acceptable* body sizes.  the same company that only uses models of a very specific height, weight, hair style, facial structure, and breast size.

the last thing any of their shitty advertising has ever told me is that i should “love my body”.

*yes, it is a promo for the “body” bras - and they are appropriating body positive marketing to sell them.

If You ‘Feel Fat’, Does That Make ‘Fat’ An Emotion? (via redefiningbodyimage)

(via redefiningbodyimage)

(Source: erinadavidsonserious, via redefiningbodyimage)

(Source: erinadavidsonserious, via redefiningbodyimage)

crimble-crumble:

teaplusbeardspluscake:

lyricalblueswing:

chubby-bunnies:

fuckyeahsexeducation:

In case you needed more of a reason to love Laci Green

Oh hello. I love you.

Yes yes and a million times yes. Everything in this. Just yes.
It’s nice to see a smaller person echoing the same rhetoric that I do as a bigger person.

But why do I feel so weird about a slim person validating my size but in such a positive video? I dunno. This is so awesome, because FA is all about pushing to normalise fat bodies and the word itself and to have non-fat people on board is FUCKING RAD. I just feel kinda patronized in a way? Am I completely alone in that? Am I just being cynical as fuck? I don’t even know.
But for the most part, I love it.

^ I love Laci Green, I really do. I also totally understand where you’re coming from. It makes me uncomfortable when non-fat/slim people stand up for fat bodies. I mean, it’s lovely, but…I can’t help but feel as though plus-size people’s voices and bodies aren’t validated until non-fat people speak for us. Like, “Oh look! A pretty, white, slim-privileged person thinks all those fat, icky bodies are cool, so…maybe they are cool?” Laci’s message is a positive one, yes, but it’s like, why can’t I as a plus-size person talk about my body in a similarly sharp, evocative way and, in so doing, validate my body and my presencemyself. 

Overall, I am in agreement with Laci and it’s totally awesome to have her on board the FA movement. Her voice is indeed a powerful one.

Noodling around with the ideas presented above:

Fat is a slippery topic, because who is fat?  We have clothing sizes and BMIs and weight, but people of all shapes and sizes will either claim to be fat or deny it.  Marilyn Wann wrote something that illuminated the issue for me: “Fat functions as a floating signifier, attaching to individuals based on a power relationship, not a physical measurement.”  Someone deemed a healthy weight by popular standards is bombarded with media images that make them feel like they have to lose weight.  They talk about how fat they are directly to or in the presence of someone like me— and it’s always someone significantly smaller than me, I remember a classmate complaining about her weight, which was less than half of my own— which invariably makes me feel simultaneously invisible and grotesque.  Then I turn around and vent on the Internet, where there’s probably someone larger than myself who’s reading and thinking “Yeah, but you don’t have to buy an extra ticket if you want to go on a plane.”  The parts that bug me about this video are when she references her own body to talk about issues that I can’t imagine she actually has to deal with as acutely as fatter people do— for instance, I highly doubt her belly restricts her clothes shopping the way that mine does (there is a difference between not flattering and not having the existing state of one’s body acknowledged by the manufacturer).  

Going off a point Laci makes in the video:  I’ve been tentatively analogizing fat and class in my mind.  Fat is a spectrum, and one on which one person can occupy different places throughout their lifetime.  We assume that people have complete control and agency over their place on the spectrum, so their status is directly linked to valuable qualities (e.g. determination, industriousness), and indirectly linked to their worth and status in other facets of life (e.g. intelligence, kindness, social skills).  We see ourselves as superior to those on the “worse” side of the spectrum, but inferior to those on the “better” side.  Likewise, we are terrified at the prospect of edging further onto the “worse” side of the spectrum— then we’ll embody all those awful qualities, and that’s how people will see us!  Like those people we don’t like!  Oh God!  So then we reinforce our disconnect from those people by depersonalizing and criticizing.  People from the “wrong” end of the spectrum who try to advocate for themselves are easily silenced, because of all the negative attributes that automatically get attached to them the minute we see their bodies.

So then we end up with this sticky ally/oppressed situation, as is the case with other movements:  we’re all affected by these standards, either through others’ policing of our bodies and/or the internalized pressure to achieve or maintain.  But people like Laci, who have bodies that look like hers, can walk away from said movement with very little at stake: she will still have more positive attributes and opportunities associated to her based on her body shape and size than I will, and I will likely have more than someone larger than me.  On the flip side, those positive attributes afford her credibility with the general population that I don’t have.  Her message is spot-on, I love this video, and it is nice to be validated by someone who has little stake in validating me and people like me, but it is coming from a privileged stance.  And that is where the nose-wrinkly part will always come in, because as the poster above me said, it’s fucked up that we can’t advocate for ourselves as effectively.

And, of course, there are intersecting issues and identities that complicate all of this.

tl;dr Let’s all rally around hating on Jillian Michaels.

(via redefiningbodyimage)

bigfatfeminist:

1. Weight and health are not the same thing. You cannot tell a person’s health by looking at them.
2. Someone else’s health is none of your business, anyway. No really, it’s not. Unless that person is very close to you, you have no right commenting on their body or habits. 
3. Even if you believe someone to be unhealthy, why would you treat that person with anything other than empathy? Concern trolls need not apply. See #2.

(Source: bigfatfeminist, via fatbodypolitics)

fuckyeahfeminists:

Each one of these women is an Olympic athlete. Let’s challenge the notion that thinness is the only indicator of health and fitness.

One thing that I really struggle with 

I really struggle with everything when it comes to body positivity, but what’s been on my mind recently is the concept of clothing fitting, and clothing being flattering. 

I’ve always held back with how much I let myself care about style.  Not only is my size not represented in most clothing lines, but my build (not apple, not pear; some kind of squash maybe?) is not often designed for, so my options for what looks good are further limited.  Add in a nebulously finicky sense of style, and suddenly clothes shopping is not a fun pastime.  That’s been changing, though, as I feel better about myself, and as clothing at the stores I shop at anyway becomes more stylish.  

(Also: at least 10-20% of the clothing I buy never makes it out of my closet because I lose confidence in how I look once I get it home.  I always try to keep this in consideration when shopping.)

Target was awesome for a few years.  A majority of the clothing I get the most compliments on comes from there.  In the past year or two they have decimated their selection of fat clothing, I’m talking maybe a quarter of the previous floor space in my local store.  Target, I just want to say: I will still shop at you because I don’t have a lot of options, but fuck you.  I spoke to a manager about it and every employee who helped me was also a fat woman, so seriously, fuck you.

And where was I yesterday but Target, where I found this dress.  It was $18.  I look at myself wearing it, and it’s such a cognitive disconnect.  It’s flattering, but not at all camouflage.  I think I look great, but I also think I look fat.  It makes me hypervisible.  (And the leggings don’t mediate that at all.  They might be a bit much.)

I’m considering wearing it on a date this weekend, which is oddly less difficult for me than the idea of wearing it around friends and acquaintances.  Maybe it’s because if this guy laughs at me, I have the luxury of walking away and never seeing him again.

I can’t seem to dig that weed out of my mind that convinces me that I’m not allowed to be confident and comfortable in my own skin, that I don’t deserve a banging orange dress.  

The irony here is if I saw another chick with a body like mine wearing it, she would be my heroine for the evening.  I hesitate to be my own heroine.  That sucks.

friendlyneighborhoodcurmudgeon:

Virgie Tovar’s Fat Girl Guide to Life

There is no wrong way to have a body.

VIRGIE TOVAR

Please be my friend.

(Source: goforthandagitate)